"This One is for You"
You know, I've always held a rather cynical view of 'relationships,' considering them insincere and merely a convenient pastime. To this day, I maintain this perspective, but there's something I've come to understand - even in what might seem like a contrived connection, genuine emotions can still thrive.
This realization dawned on me when I witnessed you repeatedly setting aside your self-esteem, bravely resurrecting past, painful conversations with a renewed spirit. Meanwhile, my unrelenting callousness remained unswayed, indifferent to the inch of pain that lodged itself within my heart.
I'm acutely aware that my actions have caused you pain, fostering a self-loathing for your unwavering affection. I understand that I've pushed you to the point of tears by insisting that you harbour resentment towards me. However, trust me when I say that your unwavering efforts are slowly eroding my inner resolve.
A profound ache and a persistent sense of emptiness have taken residence within me. My days are spent in a relentless struggle to extricate myself from this emotional abyss. Yet, as the starkness of the night descends, I'm confronted with the painful reality of your absence.
In these moments, I find solace in the realm of social media, scrolling through our bittersweet exchanges. It's during these poignant interludes that I gather my emotional fragments, drawn to your profile where I immerse myself in the melodies you've curated in your highlights. They serve as a conduit to your essence.
However, when the night's quietude deepens, I reluctantly power down my phone, retreating into the embrace of sleep. The courage to confess that a small corner of my heart yearns for our reunion eludes me, for I know that if I were to share this sentiment, you would once again invest your unwavering dedication, only to witness me "leave and go."As I stand here, fully cognizant of the emotional turmoil I've caused, I realize that I am the architect of these intricate feelings.
"Forever or Just a Path to Forever..."
Sometimes, what we believe to be forever is merely a stop along the journey to our ultimate destination. Imagine sitting aboard a train with your family, embarking on a trip of a lifetime.
In this journey's initial phase, stations whisk by without a pause, leaving you only to read their names and savour the fleeting vistas outside.
Then, in the second phase, there are stations where the train briefly halts, perhaps for just a couple of minutes, not quite at the platform, but somewhere in between. From this vantage point, you can observe the hustle and bustle of people and even spot mice scurrying around the tracks in the distance.
The third phase of your journey takes you to stations where the train stops longer than before. Here, you have the opportunity to disembark and truly immerse yourself in the surroundings. It's a place where you can do more than just gaze; you can touch, feel, and fully experience everything around you. It's at these stops that you may encounter moments of joy or sadness, or perhaps even contemplate the idea of staying indefinitely. However, eventually, you must reboard the train to reach the station that's meant for you.
Much like this picturesque train journey, life, too, is punctuated by different kinds of people and relationships. There are constants, those individuals who accompany us throughout our entire life's voyage. They are like the ever-present companions on the train. Then some are with us for just a brief moment or a couple of hours. They're akin to those passing stations, where we briefly read their names, exchange a few words, and continue on our way.
The second category encompasses people we get to know, those who share our time and experiences, such as batch mates, seniors, juniors, or co-workers. We build memories with them, but our paths eventually diverge.
The third phase involves individuals we become deeply attached to, like our best friends or those we fall in love with. These are the people we believe are our entire world, and all we ever desire is forever with them.
However, much like the train journey, life often demands tough decisions to reach its most beautiful destinations. Just as we had to return to our seats on the train, we, too, must make difficult choices to progress toward our intended destinations.
